Looking into Islam / My Shahada

This story is taken from Sister @HijabiRevert Blog and published here after seeking the Sisters approval. The original post can be found here THE REVERT LIFE

REQUEST TO READERS: Please make dua for her mother who took her shahada and returned to Allah.

May Allah have mercy on her, widen and lighten up her grave and grant her Janaat ul Firdous. Ameen 

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

(Throughout this blog post the sisters involved will be referred to by letters to avoid using their real names)

I remember looking into Islam probably early 2013 and read a few things online but again was basic information but more than before. Having alevels I stopped my study of Islam and didn’t bother until late 2013 ‎‎‎سبحان الله. I still didn’t feel anything for Islam like I do now when I originally kind of looked at first because I was always just Jodie, Jodie who didn’t care about religion, Jodie who for a joke would say “well, I’m going hell anyway” I was very joky and sarcastic about even my own “religion” never mind learning about any other. I had a very loud college tutor who loved to talk about Christianity in a class full of Muslims, so obviously when the time came to debate I was obviously on the side of Christianity not knowing a single thing and throwing facts, I think it was then I realised Issa عليه السلام was a prophet which I can still remember being confused and curious if the difference of Issa  عليه السلام in Christianity and Issa عليه السلام in Islam but I still didn’t straight away further my research on this. 

However, late 2013, I remember a study period in my College where I obviously wasn’t studying haha and I began to look at a few sisters that I knew from college and was thinking why why why etc so much like other reverts I began to google. Before I knew it I had read some verses in the Quran and came upon a recording of it. سبحان الله the sound touched me, it was nothing like I’ve heard before… Why was it recited like this? Why is it making me feel this way? I started to search the story of Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم. I like most started from basic information I remember reading a kids book about Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم LOL الحَمْد لله, any information at the beginning is helpful. I watched series of his life and other things.

 I discussed my curiosity with Sister M who was originally a close friend of mine and she  was very helpful allahumma barik laha. She answered my questions and my interest shocked her because she had known me for 6+ years and growing up together she knew me as the Jodie as above LOL. She took me to her home to meet her sister in which they were so welcoming and answered all of my questions. We wondered around and ate at a restaurant. This was probably the first time I realised that I had opened my mind to Islam and I wanted to know more about it. After a while they introduced me to Sister W who I met in November 2013. The one thing you will notice about Muslims is they are kind and not judgemental and so helpful. We sat at we spoke until what was it like 11-12am? LOL. All the information about Allah azza wa jal and his mercy and all the belief that started to enter my heart I just wanted to cry, I kept composure though I didn’t want to look insane haha. Sister M said she saw it on my face and she thought I was going to say right there look guys I’m ready for my shahada but I didn’t, I had gut feeling to research more and be certain about it. I mean Islam is a lifestyle it’s literally a practise and when you start to find Islam in your heart you will automatically begin to practise out of love for Allah azza wa jal. Even if it is to wear slightly longer clothes at that point or to stop cursing or to say to a guy nope sorry I don’t want to high five! LOL. You will never feel any kind of love that you know of with high iman and we can’t deny that high iman comes with learning and the motivation to learn. 

Months past by and I continued a slight study with a open heart and a bag full of questions for those around me. I also had one/two members who had left Islam in the college in which I asked questions/ debated about (please make dua for them) but one I particular said say Jodie I haven’t seen you this happy, I was starting to change, subtle but noticeable by those who were close with me.

There then came a time in February 2014, where Sister W asked me and Sister M to meet her and she had some sisters that wanted to meet and talk. We travelled on that journey and got completely lost haha. Eventually we met with Sister W and the sisters and we sat and ate and they asked me if I had questions, I felt like I had asked enough questions and now I want more knowledge so I asked them tell me what you know, tell me about stories etc. After a while of this we left our space and went into another space, I whispered to Sister M on the journey there that I was ready and I wanted to take my shahada and she told Sister W privately as we all walked. I felt right then that I was ready even with a few months open mind and study because do you know what the truth is there is probably no amount of information to know about Islam to be ready to take your shahada. You don’t just stop learning after you take your shahada you keep learning. To be honest I could have not taken my shahada when I was with the sisters and if it was my time I could have been  ran over all sorts of things without taking my declaration of faith. I wanted to be a Muslim , I believed in Allah azza wa jal. I had grown a love for Allah and I no longer had to worry about things I used to worry about. I was searching for a long time to find peace in my heart about God and life and I only found it with Allah and Islam. 

We got to the second place which was outside, we sat around a table in the cold and I became nervous, I knew it was what I wanted and it was me taking a step to my journey to Allah. We sat and Sister W asked me if I was ready I said yes and held onto Sister M’s hand like it was for dear life. I then took my shahada right there with four beautiful sisters with me. After I said it there wasn’t words I just burst out crying, tears down my face and being welcomed in to the religion with cuddles, I looked up and realised I wasn’t the only one crying. I had taken the step and I was now by his will, going to give my life to Allah subhanah wa ta’ala, who knows where I would be without his allowance to come into his religion, how merciful is he to take me from where I was, onto his path. It was such a beautiful moment with those sisters and I thank Allah that I shared it with you, I love you for the sake of Allah that you were there with me on my journey whilst learning and there with me when I declared there is No God but Allah, none is worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم is his messenger.